Super, single, and slutty? the story of my own stimulus package (get it?)
Much has happened since the last blog. I decided that I would try and be an exotic dancer. What was thinking? It’s funny that being a mom is the one thing that finally turned me to doing things I would otherwise consider disappointing, but hey times are tough and money isn’t exactly growing on trees at the moment. The government is just genetically modifying it with stimulus plans and making more like they do with all of our food.
So I tell my big shot friend who invited me over for dinner that I couldn’t make it because I was taking a gamble at the “booby trap.” He told me he would pay $500 for me to dance for him. So all day I tried to talk my self into it. Channeling Mary Magdaline, and Forest Gumps mom’s who had to play unfair to get their kids what they needed. By the end of the day I was exausted but had finally convinced myself that this was a good idea.
I put on the sluttiest, yet cutest outfit I could think of and proceeded to show up to my friends house. I brought my dog for safety (He is a shitz-u mix.) I come 2 hours late (because I was so nervous) and the dinner he made was cold on the stove and since I hadn’t had a meal in 5 days I pretty much devoured it. Now I will never know if he was kidding or not but he led me to believe that he never thought I would actually do it and he didn’t want me being a stripper and he wanted me to hang inthere because I was better than that.
THANK GOD HE DID, because at that moment I stepped outside of myself and thought what the hell am I doing? I am sure at some point he regretted saying this and p[robably should have got his $500 lap dance (which he said was an escort price, I beg to differ since I am a rockin dancer) But I guess we will never know because he was a gentlemen and I was a hot mess.
So if you are desperate for money don’t be a stripper, get a title loan =)
Tags: exotic dancer, single mom, stimulus plan, strpping, title loan